3.1
Love with empathy means you shouldn't have to set up boundaries. When you love someone, you want what's best for them and do everything in your power to help them get it. I'm not saying that we won't fail from time to time and people who love each other will have disagreements. But love is respecting each other even when things are tough.
Abusers do not respect you or what you are about. You may find they will have disdain for what gives you passion because your passion does not revolve around them. In fact, they will try to discredit your passion and may even try to sabotage it.
Your passion can be anything, your relationships, hobbies, etc. They may ban you from being around certain people or try to make you look bad to that person as a means to get your focus back to them. They may mock your passions or make you feel guilty for spending time doing anything that doesn't revolve around them.
Abusers do not like being given boundaries. They do not like the fact that you think you have control and would have the audacity to set any. They will not respect your boundaries.
When I would ask my mom to come along for a weekend to visit my daughter, my dad would give her a guilt trip. "I wanted to spend the weekend with you. Don't you want to spend it with me?" He would tell her. She just found it easier to comply rather than deal with his constant temper tantrum.
She didn't realize she had given up her control to him. She didn't realize the damage having done that caused her. He didn't care how much damage he had done. The more she gave in, the more he dialed it up.
She didn't realize that he would invite himself along when she wanted to go to coffee with her friend, that he was manipulating her, controlling her. Your boundaries are important. If they aren't respected, you need to evaluate your situation. It's not a healthy one
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