Escape

1.16

Unfortunately, dad didn't just stop with stalking. He tried to manipulate her work as well. He tried going to their boss and lying about a concern that John supposedly confided in dad about. And then came to John saying that their boss came to dad about a concern they had. Neither was true.

I realized he was never going to leave her alone. I called Brian, who lived several states away. Luckily for us, he suggested mom come stay with him.

At first, we were going to try it maybe for the summer. After she was there for a week, I get a phone call from Brian. He said mom wants to talk to you. I answered the phone, and she said, " Hi Becky!". I literally pulled the phone away from my ear to look at who called. The name was right, but the voice wasn't.

Mom sounds wonderful. Her voice was cheery and upbeat. I hadn't heard her sound like that in years. She loved living there! She started telling me about all the things they had done. I couldn't believe it. It was such a relief.

Luckily Brian was able to get her in with some Psychologists in his city that was very beneficial. They looked into the medications she was taking. It felt like we were on the right track finally.

I must also confess it was a huge relief for me as well. It's not easy caring for someone who needs a lot of care. It takes a huge emotional toll. That year was very difficult. In situations like this, you mourn the change. It felt like I lost both of my parents at the same time. Let me explain.

Even though I never liked my dad and was not comfortable around him, you still always have hope that at some point, he'll wake up and realize he needs to stop being an ass. These hopes were gone.

Even though family events were like always walking on eggshells because of dad, it was what we were used to. Those events won't ever happen again.

Even though mom wanted a divorce, and I complied with her wishes, I still felt like I was pushing my thoughts on mom. I never told her she had to do anything. But I still worried if I was doing the right thing. I would have this weird urge to just put everything back, it would just be easier. I would have to replay the memories of the things he did so I could remember I was doing what mom wanted.

You go through the same type of emotions as when you mourn a loved one's passing. But they were both still alive. Just that everything now was going to be different. It's hard to comprehend and process and I'm an adult. I can't imagine having to go through a similar situation as a kid.

It's unfortunate people like my dad don't think about what they do to others. You can't change them. You can't help them. Some of my family members have stated they want to confront him. I'm here to tell you that there isn't anything you can say to make them care. I'm very good with my words and planned for years of what I would say to him. Nothing I said made him care.

I made a decision that I was no longer going to give him power over me. Being mad or upset with him means I'm giving him power over me. He doesn't deserve it. He doesn't deserve me thinking about him or giving him real estate in my mind.

You need to take back your power from anyone who doesn't care about you. Write this in your journal, " I'm taking back my power today."