Find your courage

3.7

Easier said than done, I know. You need to tell yourself how strong you actually are. Look at all that you've already survived! It's not for the weak and you've already survived so much.

Think about it, make a list of what you've been through. If you're around a narcissist, it's been A LOT! Any kind of abuse is more than what anyone should have to handle. And I'm guessing you did it alone.

It takes superhuman strength to make it this far. You're just missing your cape. It's time to put it on. You don't have to hide. You don't have to cover for them any more.

You can take small steps. Confide in a friend of yours, not his. Call a family member. Confide in a coworker. If anyone doubts your story, stop and go find someone else instead. I'm always ok to let someone who isn't there to support me, walk out of my life. You should be too.

I'm giving you permission to share your story so you can start healing. It is so freeing to share and not feel shame. To hear how many others are going through something similar. It happens to all of us, in all professional. Of all levels of intellect.

It happens because we are caring, nurturing people who try to help that person through their pain. We make excuses for them and for the hardships they've endured. They can choose to allow your help or they can turn on you. They make that choice. Nothing you can say or do will prevent them from choosing to harm you.

Give yourself credit that you tried. You didn't fail, they did. You didn't cause their behavior, they did. You didn't provoke them. You didn't deserve it.

You no longer have to stick around because they suddenly start treating you nicely again. It's a lie. It always has been. They are incapable of caring. They've just learned the right words to say

It's ok to tell yourself all of this. It's ok to be sad about the life you hoped to have with an abuser, but it will never happen. It's ok to tell your story.