Spotting a Narcissist??

3.4

Why do we fall for a narcissist? How does this happen? I didn't, we didn't think we were stupid women. We're strong mentally, emotionally, and some of us even physically. Or so we thought. I can handle this. I can handle him. I know better. Any of this sound familiar?

Here's the thing; we are smart. We are strong, mentally, emotionally, and physically. We can handle anything. We're also kind and thoughtful. We're caring, helpful, and nurturing. Narcissists are just terrible people.

It's not something that usually happens overnight. It's a slow methodical process that can take months and even years to develop. And sometimes, narcissists go dormant if they need to change their focus to controlling someone else for a while.

They're smooth in their methods. They start out sweet. Give us compliments. Protect us. Comfort us.

Give us things. We fall in love. Who wouldn't. Then they start testing the waters. Making nasty little comments that slowly get stronger over time. They tell you how much others don't care about you while at the same time, telling others you don't like them.

Your friends and family are shocked, but they're told how upset you are over something that may have happened between you. Your friends and family care about you, probably feel bad or guilty for that incident and because they care about you, they respect your "wishes". At least that's what they were told were your wishes. They think they are just giving you time to heal.

You hurt. Why won't they call you or reach out. You start to feel alone. It feels like no one cares. Depression starts to set in. But no worries. The narcissist is there to make you feel better. They care about you. That exactly how they want you to feel. Now they have their claws in.

By this point, we may have relinquished our belongings, our jobs, pieces of us because now we are a team. Couples do that all the time. Get on the same cell phone plan. Reduce down to one vehicle to save money.

Now suddenly we realize we can't escape. We don't have anything anymore. We don't control the money. Any one of us can fall victim to this. We're not stupid. We're not gullible. The signs aren't obvious. They're carefully hidden. They've been tested and refined before you came along.

You're NOT stupid because this happened to you! This happens to people in all walks of life. It's not your fault they are jerks. This is all on them. You don't deserve this. Never forget that!