1.12
Going against everything that was engrained, in the middle of the night, after dad's meltdown, mom finally said the words, "I want a divorce.". I said, I will have it done.
John had thee calls and three messages on his phone. Dad kept calling him. At 6:00am, the first message was dad saying he was hurt bad and needed to go to the ER, he was going to call an ambulance. At 6:30, dad left another message saying he is having a coworker take him to the ER because he's hurt so bad he can't drive himself. At 7:00, the message said he was going to take himself to the ER.
I called down to the ER and informed the nurse that I had medical power of attorney. I asked if he was in the ER and after she verified the correct paperwork was on file, she became very rude. " He's really hurt. He said he's got a broken back and is full of bruises. What did you guys do to him?"
I was shocked at her statements and her behavior. So, I told her what really happened, and she could check the police report. She toned down a little bit, but not much. I told her I didn't want him released, I wanted him committed to the psych ward because he needs help. She said she would do some checking and call me back.
After about 45 min, she called me back and said the counselor wanted me to come in and meet with them. I had 20 min to be there, and they wanted Mom to come along. Mom, my brothers, and I quickly got ready and went to the Drs office. We asked to wait outside the office. Again, we were met with rudeness and had to stand and wait for an hour before a counselor brought dad out.
We were asked what happened, so we explained with dad sitting there. As usual, he just sat silently, neither confirming nor denying what we said. The counselor's behavior I thought was strange, they left us all out in the lobby with dad as they went into the back office for 20 min. Then they came back out and said we needed to take him home.
I couldn't believe after everything we said, the same doctor's office that dad had been coming to for two months, telling them the things Dad had been doing to mom, was telling us we needed to take him home, back into the house, with mom. I told them he's not coming back into the house, mom doesn't want him there, and we changed the locks. Which we did as soon as we knew dad left for work that morning.
The counselor continued to argue with me that I had to take him home. Then they kept going into the back for a while, coming back out and telling me we had to take him home. What kind of a system forces the victim to take the abuser back home?! They asked me where was he supposed to go then? I reminded them I have medical power of attorney and now that he was in the hospital, I had the power to make all of his medical decisions, and he needs to be committed. I also told them that his pissed off the rest of his family including his brothers and sisters and no longer has any friends.
I had to argue for an hour and the counselor finally agreed he should be admitted. They agreed to take him over, but insisted I contact the police because they were afraid to take him by themselves. Once the police arrived then they said they won't take him to the psych ward. It was across the street, but still on campus. They said I had to take him.
The police officers walked with me and dad back over to the main building so he could be admitted. John and Brian took mom to lunch and get her out of that situation. Dad and I were taken to the psych ward and into a little room, pretty much only big enough just for the two chairs.
It was Noon when we were taken up to the little room and we were left in that room for two hours. I had now been up for 36 hours, hadn't eaten since supper the night before, had a raging headache, sitting in a room beside my dad, who put his hand up to cover his eyes like a child who didn't want to look at me.
2:00pm, a nice nurse finally came in and explained they couldn't take him into a room because his blood pressure was over 200. I said, it's probably because I'm in there with him. She agreed and said he wouldn't be released, and as soon as his blood pressure came down, they would take him to his regular room, so I didn't have to keep sitting there. I could leave.
I couldn't imagine if we weren't there, and Mom would have had to take on all this on her own. To be treated like that from the very people who are supposed to protect the victim. And we wonder why victims stay with their abusers. They are made to feel like they are in the wrong no matter what they try to do. I was disappointed and furious. This is another reason why I am speaking out. Everyone needs to know why it's hard to leave. I have bitter feelings obviously and want to say that I hope the people who behaved poorly that day see this and see their actions have consequences. And if you're a victim, stay strong! Fight for yourself.
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