Triggers

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Any kind of abuse will create triggers. These are the things that keep us on edge, reliving the abuse, crippling many. Triggers can be extremely difficult to identify, which on the surface seems like they should be easy to spot.

A trigger is something that occurred during the abuse, usually just before, during, or directly after an actual event. A sight, sound, smell, could be anything. Many will go through a day coming across their triggers, but not recognizing or putting two and two together that whatever it is that reminds us of an event is what's triggering us.

For me, someone introduced me to their dad and when I had that twinge in my gut that I finally realized, it was because it was their "dad". I had been around other people's dad's all my life and suddenly my feelings all made sense. I assumed all dads had some form of violent/abusive behaviors. I was 35 when I figured out my first one, but still didn't know what a trigger actually was.

As soon as I had my realization, I said to myself with a defiant absolution, "I am 35 years old. I am an adult. No one is going to hit me like that again!". The twinge in my stomach went away while I found a new courage. That courage is what I draw up on to face my fears.

That realization also helped me to pay attention to other triggers. Every time I feel that, I look around, what am I hearing, seeing, touching, etc. Here's my list of what I have found so far; the sound of a belt buckle, a man raising his voice even if not at me, a man who gets mad, and startling loud noises. There may be more I haven't figured out yet.

Recognizing them allows me to be able to control them. Every time someone or something sets me off, I can now tell myself that I will not allow those things to control me or my thoughts. I have made the decision that my dad does not deserve to control me and by allowing myself to buckle to the triggers, I am allowing him that control.

I will talk about this subject more as it constantly evolving.

For those of you that haven't discovered any or all of yours, I believe finding yours is a huge step to turning into a survivor instead of a victim. Keep a journal of your day of what makes you uncomfortable, sad, scared, nervous, or anything negative. Journalling will help you to find patterns.

Even if you're not a victim of abuse, but have been through a traumatic event, you will also have triggers and should journal to recognize them. Trauma hits us all differently.

Don't be embarrassed of your traumatic event. Repeat that to yourself. Write that in your journal. Embarrassment will keep allowing the event to control you. You deserve to be under your own control.