1.18
Recently someone reached out to share and to let me know that I'm not alone. I was going to post on this topic at a later date, but I think it's important enough to discuss now.
As a kid, going through any difficult situation, you definitely feel alone. Your world is very small to you at this time. It consists of your family, people at school mostly and maybe a few others. Most of us have been told to hide our secrets, so we usually have no one to talk to. And we learn not to trust anyone, for a couple of reasons. 1. The very people who we should be able to completely trust, our parents, are the ones hurting us in these situations. 2. If we do talk, it's often to a sibling and most of the time, we're each just trying to survive. My brother Brian and I each blamed each other for our beatings and grew to hate each other. We were too young to understand we were hating the wrong person.
We're also ashamed to let anyone know this is happening. We've been told we're naughty, we've been told they're disappointed in us, and the list goes on and can be more severe. We're told we deserve what we get, so we don't want anyone to know how terrible we must be in order to deserve such a thing.
What we don't know is all the other kids we are going to school with who are also going through the exact same thing and hiding it. And for the few brave kids who do let their situation known, the other kids become ruthless to them.
You're afraid to talk to other adults because you've been told you'll be taken away from your family. Even though you wish that would happen, you're also terrified because you don't know that you will end up in a better place. You could end up with people who are worse and often end up going back into your family situation. And now the abuser is furious with you because they got caught. So, it gets worse for you. You decide that you already know how life is for you and how is now has got to be better than the unknown. So, we say nothing.
Many of us grow up into adults who are so used to keeping things locked up and we tend to lose the ability how to release and trust others. Some stay locked up and keep others away, some go on and repeat the behavior to their own family, and some overcome.
Please teach your kids empathy and compassion. We have to stop being mean to each other starting as kids. Please also think about what you say to others and your behavior to others. Saying sorry doesn't always fix things, so don't treat people like crap to begin with.
Kids, I can guarantee you that every classroom you are sitting in, there's a least one other person in that room who is going through crap too. I seriously guarantee it! You are not alone. I promise there's people around you who maybe suspect things are not ok with you, but without proof it's hard to step in. Just know they do care about you!
Don't self-destruct. Put your focus on yourself and bettering yourself. Educate yourself. Rise above and be spectacular. Take your anger and turn it into a passion for being your best you. You deserve to be loved and treated well. You may have to search a while to find someone who treats you the way you want to be treated, but you're worth it. Pick something you want to learn more about. Research it. Teach yourself. Give yourself a skill, a hobby, and knowledge. Focus on being the best at it.
Reach out, find a counselor, psychologist, a good friend, keep a journal. If any of those options aren't working for you, try again. Find a different friend, find a different counselor or psychologist.
You are not alone. Reach out to me if you need. I do care about you.
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